Sunday, July 15, 2012

This Story Begins with Tears (A Blog Post Wherein I Quote Myself, Wonder if it is Narcissistic, and then Decide I Don't Care)

I am not a very private person. I share things about my body, my brother, my health, and my defeats all over the internet, usually on this blog. I will write just about anything and not consider who is going to read it.
According to my baby book, he is my second favorite male figure after my daddy
Louis Pina January 13, 1941- June 17th, 2012

And then on June 17th, 2012, my world changed during an unexpected phone call over meatball subs. And my family had to find out on Father's Day that my beloved Tata had passed away. I had nothing to say, could not write, and let the information slowly sink in before I could even admit to others what had happened. I could not share pictures quite yet, or let the facebook world know, because I myself wasn't ready.
My beautiful grandparents. I wish I looked half as good :)

But then I decided the proper thing to do, and the only course of action I could take, was honor. Honor for a tall, dark, stubborn man who called me alternatively "Babe" and "Simba" (when I was younger and my curly mane was not even an inch within controlled). 

I decided to take Costco up on the offer of becoming a Team Leader for the Puget Sound Heart Walk. I created the LAP Team (Louis Arthur Pina Team) and hope to raise $3000 with hopefully 10 teammates (I personally have a $1000 goal and have become pretty passionate and invested in this goal. This became pretty evident when I emailed my dad and told him that the day of the walk I am going to put L-A-P-T-E-A-M-!-!-! on each of my nails along with garnet [for my grandpa's birthstone] and blue [his favorite color] nail polish). If you are interested in either being a team member or donating, please contact me! 

I leave you with a story, and the reason I decided to create LAP Team. I warn you, it is a long one (when are they not), but I had to write it.

Love to all my loved ones.
This story begins with tears. I say this not to gain sympathy, and Lord knows that my emotional spectrum runs high and wide: I have been known to cry on staff retreats and at ill-timed Keeping up with the Kardashians episodes (that episode where Rob's girlfriend left him for India that I watched during a particularly emotional time of the month left me in pieces). 
But those are not the particular tears I mean. I mean the racking sobs of a 22 year old granddaughter, driving along Martin Luther King Way after she has been told that her favorite person after her dad written down in her baby book lay sick in the hospital. The mute pained gasping tears as you wait and watch the hurting kidney and ¾ blocked heart duke it out for which will fail first. And the resolute tears that fall as you sullenly promise to get your body in shape, right now, right this second because you don’t want to have to worry about your own 22 year old daughter crying in a car 40 or 50 years down the road, wondering how much time she has left with her beloved family member.
            My beloved Tata was in and out of the hospital, worrying us. In his characteristic no nonsense manner, he seemed least worried of all. But on June 17th, we got the call that you always dread getting. On June 17th, on Father’s Day 2012, Louis Arthur Pina passed away. While not 100% sure it was from heart disease, heart disease touched our family and changed it without asking permission.
            On June 19th, I signed up to walk in the 2012-2013 Puget Sound Heart Walk, and created my own team to inspire, motivate, and change the face of this disease. Honoring my grandpa (Louis Arthur Pina Team), as well as a clever acronym for the many laps we will walk during this 5k (3.1 mile) walk, I intend for this team to make a difference.
On top of that, there are a few traits of my grandpa’s that will help us walk successfully and that might benefit how we approach heart disease in general. For one, I figured it was no longer time to be my normally shy self. Heart Disease and Stokes are not shy as they sweep silently through bodies and hospitals, and I cannot sit idly by any longer when there is so much I can do to find a cure and raise awareness.
            More importantly, my Tata was a stubborn man, and I loved him for it. I appreciate people who can stand by their convictions. But his stubbornness teaches me, and hopefully the team: that when you think you can’t finish the race, when you think you can’t give (time, talent, or monetary donations), or when you think you just can’t in general, you totally can. Because Louis Pina would have never let anyone tell him he can’t, and he wouldn’t let us either. Bring that stubborn person out of you and see how you triple the amount you think you can accomplish.
            Lastly, my Tata was a story teller.  He loved to talk, could talk for quite awhile, and if in the right mood, might know your whole life story in 10 minutes and wouldn’t you know it he had met someone you know to boot. I myself, despite being on the quiet side, once I get to know you will totally steam roll the conversation while trying to tell you three different stories I thought of because you said the word tangerine. And I always have to get the details right, “I was walking down, Cherry, I mean it was Madison, on Wednesday, no well I guess it was Thursday wearing this blue shirt…”, my dad always amusingly notes that I get that from my grandpa, but it is one of my favorite traits. And as if this whole story about him is no indication, I love telling stories and I love writing. And when we are facing that third hill in a row on the walk, or that hurdle in life, sometimes a simple story can get you through. And writing it out, getting it all down? That’s how I heal and how I share.
           This story, this walk, and this cause is dedicated to a whole bunch of people I would like to honor. It is for my grandpa of course, and my grandma Yolanda Pina who has also suffered a heart attack, other family members who have dealt with heart disease or stroke, and friends who have relatives battling the same thing. I am honored and excited to walk on October 20th, to donate my time, talent, and my treasure. And when my foot crosses that finish line, I’ll touch my heart (most likely in tears because remember the beginning of this whole thing) and he’ll know I did it for him.